Surrender

I used to think being a follower of Christ came after saying a short prayer or raising your hand in church. Now, I know that becoming a follower of Christ has everything to do with what you’re willing to surrender to Him.

I knelt down that night and thought I could give myself to Christ as easily as possible. I gave Him an iron ring, the iron ring of my will, with all the keys of my life on it, except one little key that I kept back. And the Master said, “Are they all here?” I said, “They are all there but one, the key of a tiny closet in my heart, which I must keep control.” He said, “If you don’t trust Me in all, you don’t trust Me at all.” I tried to make terms, I said, “Lord, I will be so devoted in everything else, but I cannot live without the contents of that closet.” I believe that my whole life was just hovering in the balance, and if I had kept the key of that closet and mistrusted Christ, He never would have trusted me with the ministry of His blessed Word. He seemed to be receding from me, and I called Him back and said, “I am not willing, but I am willing to be made willing.” It seemed as though He came near and took that key out of my hand and went straight for the closet. I knew what He would find there, and He knew too. Within a week from that time, He had cleared it right out. But He filled it with something so much better! Why, what a fool I was! He wanted to take away the sham jewels, to give me real ones. He just took away the thing which was eating out my life, and instead gave me Himself. Since then I have reckoned on Him to keep; but full consecration is a necessary condition of any deep experience of His keeping power. (Excerpt from Norman Grubb’s book: C.T. Studd, Cricketer and Pioneer, p51)

I’ve wrestled with this passage over the last few months because I know there are keys to my heart which I have not fully surrendered to Christ. These keys are heavy. They more so resemble bricks in a large backpack than a delicate key that fits into your hand. Every day, I choose to carry my heavy bag of bricks, grumbling about the weight and the burden I carry, knowing full well that I could surrender these things to Christ but don’t. (Or at least, not until recently.)

My keys may look different than yours, but we’re probably more alike than you think. The desire to protect myself and my family above all else, stressing about the choices made by others, wanting to live a comfortable life regardless of the cost, not wanting to let go of vices, addictions, or distractions in my life… These are the things I felt I must control, without exception.

I’ve been married to my husband, Adam, for 11 years now. What do you think his reaction would have been if, on our wedding day, my vows were, “Adam, I love you with all my heart. I will be faithfully committed to you in every area except for these….” That doesn’t sound very compelling, does it? The fact that I would be unwilling to remain 100% faithful to him negates the previous declarations of love.

Isn’t this how we treat our relationship with Christ? We’re willing to accept His gift of eternal life, but we are unwilling to make true sacrifices for Him. We are focused on what He can give us, instead of realizing that He is the gift. Instead of clearing out as much space as possible for Him to occupy, we fill our lives with things that will never truly satisfy.

If He isn’t Lord of all, He isn’t Lord at all.

Friend, what would it look like to fully surrender yourself to Christ? This is the question I invite you to pray over today. What may be stopping you from handing over the key to the hidden closet in your heart? Is it fear of losing comfort, losing money, losing relationships, or something else?

Surrender – this is my word for 2023. Instead of worrying, overthinking, and focusing on myself, I will choose to surrender. My prayer for you this coming year is to faithfully abandon your need for control to experience more joy, more of God’s presence than ever before.